Oblivious = Disasterous

I realize that it has been a while, but hopefully I will start being a little better at this.  I've been sitting on a really funny story (well, at least it is funny to me) but I haven't had the nerve to post it.  I think that now that enough time has past, and my embarrassment and humiliation has died down a little, I can share my experience with you all.  I will warn you, this post might be a little long, but hopefully, it will provide you with a great example of what NOT to do, or if not, it will at least provide you with yet another opportunity to laugh at my ridiculousness. 

It all began on a very hot morning.  Being the fool I am, I decided to take summer classes again this year.  Up on campus, they were tearing down one of the buildings, so they have the area all fenced off, and the big trucks, and tractors were doing their demolition thing.  Being any normal, curious student, my attention was focused on the tractor claw as it smashed into the building.  Unfortunately, I failed to see the sandbag that was holding the protective fencing in place.  That's right, you guessed it, I tripped over it, and it sent me flying.  Not only did it send me flying, but it sent me flying right into the arms of another person.  And of course, they couldn't be the arms of just anyone.  They happened to be very well-muscled arms that belonged to a very attractive male face!  Well, I hurriedly said sorry a billion times, and thank you a billion times, because if it wasn't for him, I am pretty sure I would have landed smack on my face.  He introduced himself (we shall call him T), and asked my name.   Amidst my bright red, embarrassed face, I told him, and he chuckled, and told me thank you for brightening up his day.  I hastily said thank you to him once again, and practically ran to get away from him. 

Now, some of you may think that is where the story ends.  Oh no...believe it or not, it gets even better.  So, after class, I began the long trek again across campus.  Around the exact SAME spot where I tripped earlier that day, much to my horror, who should I see strolling towards me from the opposite direction.  You guessed it:  it was T.  I was MORTIFIED, because it is bad enough to run into a good looking guy once, but to see him once again 2 hours later around the same spot seemed like some kind of cruel joke.  So, in my head, I started reciting the "Please don't see me" chant over and over in my head, tried to make myself look invisible, and feigned some intense interest in my IPOD to avoid eye contact.  Despite my best efforts, it didn't work.  I see a pair of shoes in front of me, and I hear "Hey Ash....fancy running into you here again" :)  Then he proceeded to laugh at his own joke, amused at his own hilariousness. So, we joked and chatted for another few minutes, before he had to head off to his class, so we said our goodbyes once again.  This became a daily ritual for about a week.  I would pass him on my way to class as he was heading home, and then I would see him again as he was heading to his other class, and I was heading home. 

Don't worry, we haven't even gotten to the humiliating part yet!  Thursday of that week, I decided to be a slacker and skip class.  Since I don't have class on Fridays, this means that I didn't see T again until Monday.  When I saw him on Monday, he was perturbed that I skipped class without inviting him to come along, so he very smoothly asked for my number so that we could keep in contact, should one of us decide to skip again.  So, just like I knew I would, I saw him again after my class.  Only this time, he asked if I could do him a huge favor.  I told him sure, thinking he was going to make some snarky comment.  To my surprise, he said "well, I was thinking of skipping my afternoon class tomorrow and taking this really cute girl on a picnic, but I don't know what kind of food she likes.  I need to find out what kind of food she likes."  So, of course, me being the obnoxiously oblivious person that I am, I gave him my beset "duh, idiot" look, and said "well how the heck am I supposed to know?  Why don't you just ask her?!"  Yup...There it is.  That's what I said.  That was my brilliant response.  It was only after witnessing T's face go from red, to a very dark purplish color, as he shamelessly tried to hold in his laughter, that I had realized what I had done.  Then, he couldn't hold it in any more, and he literally doubled over, he was laughing so hard.  I didn't think there was an emotion worse than "mortified" but I proved that there was that day.  I thought it was humiliating smashing into him, but this topped the cake.  And, to make matters worse, whenever I feel stupid, embarrassed, or awkward, my first response is of course to laugh.  So, I started laughing too.  And anyone who knows me well, knows that disastrous things happen when I laugh too hard.  I wheeze like an old man.  So, I started to walk away as I was laughing so he wouldn't hear my wheezing :)  There we are, standing about 10 feet from one another, laughing like idiots.  I had my back to him because I could still hear him laughing, and I was trying to control myself as well.  Then I feel my phone start to vibrate in my pocket, so I take it out, and notice that it is T calling.  I turn around as I answered my phone, and he said (still chuckling) as he walks forward "So (chuckle, chuckle chuckle) um...(still trying to control himself) I have a random question for you (more laughing).  What kind of food do you like?"  Well, I completely lost it again.  Out came the ugly cackle, out came the old-grandpa wheeze, and then out came the tears.  I'm sure I was quite the sight to behold.  Although, it did make me feel a little better that he was laughing just as hard, and looked just as ridiculous as I did.  When we finally calmed down enough to interact like normal human beings, we made plans, and with a really good hug, and a few more chuckles, I sent him off running, very very late for his class. 

So there it is!  Moral of the story: Don't be an idiot!  Or, if you are an idiot, don't be an oblivious idiot.  And, if  you are unfortunate enough to be an oblivious idiot, then you better start embracing the awkward, because there is going to be much much more of it to come!